Don't EVER smell your tampon
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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