Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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