5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.