hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
