Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction