Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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