whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.