Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
