My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize