I feel like I'm in dance class right now
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
