goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
