I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
