Fuck appropriateness.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
