Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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