i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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