i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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