I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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