Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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