chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
