Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
