just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have grass duct taped all over my body
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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