so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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