There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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