People in love make me want to vomit
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
