Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize