i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
