So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
