The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
