Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm jealous of your bromance
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
accomplished twins. life is a go
This house was built for laser tag.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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