Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
