And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
