Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
