thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
