She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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