Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
