I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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