she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
