I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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