Porn is love you can see.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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