it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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