We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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