brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
