I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
