I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
