He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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