Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
