I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize