He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He kissed a someone with a penis
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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