my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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