You really coming over, don't trick.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
