is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
