I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
