did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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