My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
