That's intense
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
my poor anus
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
