I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize