i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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