When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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