My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
