thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
