I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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