Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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