Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize