So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
