too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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